Thursday, August 16, 2007

Farewell Pt. 1

Wow, I'm finding out that it is REALLY hard to say goodbye to all that you have, to all that you have known, to all that you have held dear, and to all that you feel safe with.... I't hard to know that you might not ever see these familiar faces ever again, walk these familiar streets or go to these familiar stores and restaurants. Well, that is what I have to do in less than 8 days. In less than 8 days, I'm leaving California, I'm leaving the 209 and I'm going to be going off to college in South Carolina and I might be there for the rest of my life, or at least the next 4 years. And while I'm very happy to go and happy to be branching off on my own and happy to be meeting new people, it's hard to know that those I love are like a 6 hour plane flight away...but I guess that is what I wanted. I signed up for school away from my family to escape the possibility of being stifled but I can't help but to fear. I mean I know some people who will be there already but still, this is only through the internet and it's different, knowing someone online and knowing someone in person....but I guess that I'm going to find out the truth soon enough! I know I sound COMPLETELY scared to go, but I am really excited as well, it's just that well, the first step is the hardest. BUT I AM READY TO GO...i hope!

1 comment:

  1. Love, I totally wish I could say something to make you not as nervous about this whole thing. But, I can say that at least to some degree I know how you feel. I went out with the gang last night. Had some Mexican & went to the park for an amazing time. We stayed til it was dark. And then we stood around talking, and then we started saying goodbye and remembering all we had done together in the years K5 thru 12. I hugged my friends goodbye and waved and hugged some more and when I got home I cried. Just talking about it makes me want to cry again. It occurred to me that I'm totally not ready for this. I can't handle this leaving and saying goodbye stuff. I'm afraid to leave my mom and my sister and the room I've slept in for the last 10 years. What excites me most about Wofford at this point is you. Past that it seems like at the beginning life promises to be stressful at best. I won't deal well with my mom leaving my on campus and my first day promises to be traumatic because it'll be my first 1st day of school without Colleen in like 6 or 7 years...And I am not ready. BUT, I am ready to be not ready with you. We'll get here and be not ready for it together...the night of the 28th I'm likely to be some crying heap somewhere. But you are more than welcome to join in. I know I'm not Laurel or Steph and I don't ever want to be. Your friends have a special place in your heart and your life and you will keep them their the same way I keep mine. Just come find me. If somehow I haven't seen you by lunchtime on the 28th, come find me. Most definitely that night because that's when all the moving and buying excitement dies. That's when we're there and way past going back. And I will need you. If you can't think of one other reason to get on that plane next week. Think of that one. I WILL NEED YOU. You told me that if the rest of WoCo didn't talk to us that you would be okay because you knew we'd have each other. And so we shall....

    Look to my LJ for more in the coming nights...just for you....