The Modern Education Myth

So, this is something I have been meditating on for a while now and I simply need to put it down and start to develop this line of thought.

Education is a lie.

There, I said it. I know this sounds very odd; especially so when you realize that I am from a family predominately consisting of teachers and I am a person who when to a prestigious private college. But, it is true.

Bear with me, but education especially the modern state of education in America is a lie.

The current generation (the Millenials of which I am a part) were brought up being spoon fed lies around education. Essentially, the line goes: Go to school, do well and graduate high school. You will then go to a great college, do well and graduate. Next, you will find a great job, change the world, and be happy.

This is a f*cking lie. This is where the Millenial generation gets much of its distain for the other generations and where the overwhelming judgements of our lazy, self-serving, etc generation stem from. We grew up with these lies being told to us.

While this may have been true for GenXers and the Baby Boomers, simply put, this is not the case now. With the majority of a generation being told this is what you have to do to get a good life and this is the life you should live we find that we have thousands (if not more) of Millenials living lives where we are buried with student loan debt, as well as even more being underemployed.

Sorry to break it to the world America but not everyone should go to college. Yes, I believe that everyone should have the  opportunity to go to college but not everyone should. Simply but, people should be encouraged to follow their dreams, and whatever path that may take. If you don't want to have a job that requires a college education then DON'T GO TO COLLEGE. Simply, remain educated, constantly challenging yourself and pursue what you want to do.

Until we stop perpetuating this myth of education and happiness, we will NEVER solve neither our education nor our debt issues.

This being said, while I am fine being saddled with the debt that my education has afforded me, I do believe that there needs to be some form of federal intervention to aid the Millenial generation with their debt because simply but, it isn't our fault (at least wholly) that we are in this state.

Once some of these issues begin to be solved, I believe that the Occupy movement and many of our current social issues in general will be solved.

That's my two cents at least.

Holy Crap

I'm like old. Like really old. I just came to the realization that I'm almost 23. While in the scheme of things, this isn't that old, I feel insanely old and young at the same time.

- I'm only a year out off college (like exactly a year as of this point).
- I've been 'on my own' for just about a year now living/working (80% of the time) now.

Yet....

- I love me some cartoons
- And ice cream
- And simply being lazy
- Simply put, I don't quite feel like an adult!

But at the same time...

- I've been hiring people for almost a year now (Something I still have a hard time wrapping my head around)
- I (somehow) have the ability to pay my bills (and on time!)
- People come to me for advice rather than the other way around


I guess now that I have a birthday coming up in just over 2 weeks (I just saw the date and kinda freaked out) I simply need to acknowledge that I'm an adult and that's ok.

Blessed

I am truly blessed. I realized today just how blessed I am right now.

Background: I'm working at an amazing place where I am truly affecting peoples lives in a meaningful way and for the last week I've been reviewing resumes of people I can (hopefully) hire to be my employees and I've realized just how awesome I have things.

- I work in a job I love that gives me the time to actually have a life.
- I have a second job that helps people make ends meet and live their lives better.
- I have an amazing family who loves and supports me.
- (this one is a little bad but...) I have the ability to write a meaningful and succinct cover letter/resume. A skill that many are lacking.
- I have friends who are truly amazing.
- I (will soon) have enough money to live comfortably.
- I have the ability to learn and grow from my failures.
- I am comfortable in myself and my own abilities to live my life how I want.
- I am healthy (although I believe I may have some sort of issue affecting my energy levels as I'm constantly exhausted).
- I am happy.

I think that far too often we find ourselves dwelling on what we don't have. I know at least that this is true of me simply look at my last two posts to see my own inhibitions on that. Nonetheless though, I now that we as people have the ability to move past it.

Personally, I have a horrible habit of listening to that voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm inferior. This is wrong. We are all amazing. We need to embrace our individuality and our strengths while learning to curb our weaknesses. While weakness makes us human, it also allows for us to see our current boundaries and move beyond them to better things.

Can't Sleep...Regret?

I can't sleep, even though every fiber of me is exhausted. I don't quite know why. I heard once that taking an inventory of your life and your to do's when you can't sleep helps.

This is a lie.

It doesn't help that I'm currently obsessed with a song about regret and moving on. I don't really know why either. My life is starting to get back together after months of living in limbo (getting fired from a job I thought I loved).

I'm working with amazing and ridiculously inspiring people in a position which I feel grossly underqualified for though I also feel as if I can do it better than anybody else. My finances will be better than they ever have been in less than a month. I'm moving in with my best friend in the near future (1-2 months we're predicting). Why then am I listening to a song which makes me bawl like I haven't in almost a year with the following lyrics:

And I've been a fool and I've been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can see no way, I can see no way

I'm always dragging that horse around

I guess that I'm terrified of falling back into the slump I was in for so long...I guess I feel as if I'm overcompensating...that somehow in the next 2 months something will happen and I will be worse off than I was a month ago. My particular brand of neuroses though I KNOW has absolutely no base in fact. 

And yet, for some reason I am sitting here at 3AM unable to sleep, wallowing in my own self-doubt just knowing that I will go back to that despite my reason telling me that that is impossible. (Worst part of the English language depicted right there: "that that" ugh.) 

I guess, I just didn't realize that the real world, whatever that is would be so hard. I guess I thought that things would work out. That adage I grew up being told as self-evident (You will go to college, you will get a good paying job, you will live a good and comfortable life) is a lie. And now I find myself wondering if I'm alone in this struggle. I know I can't be, the unemployment and underemployment rates amongst my peers (21-25 year-old recent graduates) tells me so; yet, I cannot but feel alone in this struggle. 

Ideally, things will get better and I have to believe that they will. Reason tells me it will. Reason tells me that what I am experiencing is simply a sociological concept of called anomie. Wherein a person has reduced ties to society and feels alone despite not being so (an issue that is extremely prevalent in modern urban areas truth be told although many argue it isn't). 

Reason tells me I'm wrong. My heart tells me to brace for the worst. I guess that's why I'm so obsessed with this song... 

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't

So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat

Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Looking for heaven, found the devil in me

Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Note: Song lyrics courtesy of "Shake it Out" - Florence and the Machine as performed by the Cast of Glee. 

He lives...somewhere

I'm back. After over 2 years of not blogging here and attempting to blog elsewhere, including trying to force myself to blog on other things I care about, I realize I simply need a space to discuss my life/thoughts/inhibitions/moral dilemmas.

Again, I do not know if you exist readers and I do not know if you care if you do exist. I know that blogging about one's life is quite passe nowadays but nonetheless I feel strangely compelled to. Now, whether this is due to some form of narcissistic quality I invariably posses or something else, I know that I need this...for me.

So, if you (my theoretical reader(s?)) still exist or even still care please bare with me while I attempt to reemerge from the blogging crypt and attempt to bring this dead horse back to life.

In the next few days, I plan on adding a recap of sorts to my life since my last post and hash out my thoughts on where this blog may go from here.

1. Why don't I dream anymore?
2. Why can't I focus anymore?
3. Why won't someone come along and be my fairy job mother?
4. Why can't I think anymore?

The End of a Beginning, and Vice Versa

http://tvspike1.tumblr.com/

New website, hopefully will be updated far more frequently than this blog. Alas, we shall see.

btw, do not consider this me leaving blogger as I do like it and it has its merits for long written word that tumblr is simply not good for but I also know that while I may be long-winded at times I prefer to be short and sweet and the fact that I can easily tumbl thoughts, links, etc on tumblr I know it just fits my oft random and hectic life better.

We'll see how long that lasts. >.<

A Change.... Maybe

So, I am horrible at using this blog. I hate it. I wish I had the wherewithal to blog about my life and keep those I love, etc updated via this rather anonymous and (formerly) epitomes method of sharing your life.

But now I realize that this is simply not me. That is why I have had so much trouble committing to it. I am a verbal sharer. All of my friends call me to hear about my latest exploits and know they are always in for a treat and a fantastic story. Yet, in written form I know I cannot quite convey exactly how epic or how dangerous a situation is because the words simply cannot convey what my tone and what my diction do.

But, this is not my last goodbye though it sounds like it. I am thinking of changing this to a tumblr of my exploits, my web searches, my musings, and my latest obsessions. So, while I work on the logistics of that I bid you adieu.

In the mean time, enjoy this delightful youtube video

Notes about the DC Commute

Things to know about the DC commute

1. Wear deodorant. You’re going to have your arm up a lot.
2. Find a way to keep cool, DC is really hot in the mornings and even worse when you have 300 random strangers all cooped up in a tiny metro car together.
3. Bring a book, every day.
4. Know when your stop is like 2 stops beforehand so you can get close to the door (remember, 300 random strangers) by the time your stop comes up (for me its 9, then 4)
5. Don’t take up a full row of seats for yourself, there are 300 strangers who all want to sit down, and if not all of them at least most of them do.
6. iPod, iPod, iPod. But, be sure you keep an awareness for your stops (9 and 4!)
7. Here, it is NOT inappropriate to run unlike every other time in your life outside of working out.
8. Remember your bag! I saw 2 bags left on the metro today. 2!
9. Don’t look scared tourists. We already know you don’t know how to deal with the metro, relax. if you miss your stop its only another 1-5 minutes until another car comes along.
10. Don’t stare at ugly people, you’re not too good looking yourself. (Hilarious back-story here!)

Things I learned on my DC commute

1. Shoes suck. Yea, they’re better to walk 2 miles in compared to flip flops but please. They make you So much hotter. Not cool.
2. Relax, you have a 2 mile walk in the woods. There is no reason to take it too seriously, that is unless you’re late. Then, remember, its also a walk/run/bike trail and you should do one of the latter two options.
3. Pretend like you know what you’re doing, most of the other people are. (Really though, I saw a lady double back after getting off the metro who was obviously on a morning commute she did often.)
4. Plan for unexpected delays. Be they slow metro, ungodly amount of people making you miss the first car for your transfer, or broken escalators they will be there. Also, it doesn’t hurt to be a little early to work.
5. Don’t drink on the metro, people give you dirty looks.
6. Know that your iPod is a zombie. One day it will work, one day it won’t. Take it along nonetheless, you never know when the undead will spring back to life. (Warning though: You may have to hack the old Sir to pieces with a chainsaw bayonet if he starts biting people.)
7. A morning iced coffee makes everything better, and you work within a block to two Starbucks and a Cosi!
8. Chuck is right, Rush is the music of the universe. Tom Sawyer is the BEST song to walk through downtown DC listening to! (Close second is Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap

Stay tuned for more. As the commutes accumulate under my belt I will surely have more insights into commuting in general and DC commutes especially.

On My Feelings for DC....

So, I’ve been meaning to think out my feelings for DC for quite some time. But, with the last weeks of school and finals and then moving out of my room taking over my life, I found it nearly impossible to actually think about my move.....So, here is my attempt to.

Please note though, this is completely stream-of-consciousness and as such should be taken with a grain of salt as it is merely my attempt to process my incredibly life-changing decision to (finally) go out on my own and move to D.C. for the summer.....

And so it begins:

I am scared out of my wits.

There, I said it. This is an insanely drastic and scary change. But, I am really excited. I have the opportunity to try out essentially what I want to do for the rest of my life in the city that I want to do it in!

I mean, who doesn’t want that?

But, I am scared. What if my housing doesn’t work out and I find myself homeless? My bank account can only hold me out for so long (yea, not that long to be truthful). And well, That is scary!

And what if I don’t like it? That would be the scariest thing to occur of all. This has been my dream for years. I mean, pretty much since I really considered thinking about the future I wanted to live in DC. And at that point, I had only visited for a week, during which I dove through a glass table.....

And well, I didn’t know much back then about the real world to be completely honest. Now, I do and I know that it’s a scary place where many people get eaten alive. What if I find that my dream is something that I cannot live with? What if I find that I simply do not belong there? What if.....

And there is much more than that....

My friend who had this internship last year found it horribly disheartening. He had the same basic dream as I did when he went in. And he found that dream shattered when he faced the reality of the situation back at the office.....

While I think he will still be in DC in the end, or at least at some point, I know that it really hit him hard.

What if my dreams are similarly shattered? Can I take that? Can my dreams take that? I mean, I understand that we do not always achieve our dreams and I know that life is hard and all that; but what if my life ends up in that way?

And then there is my living arrangements (again). What if I can’t handle the ridiculous commute, especially at night? I mean, I don’t plan on staying out in DC every night late but I know I want to some nights, I know some really awesome bands are coming. It’s just...well...it’s not like what happened a few weeks ago scares me or anything, I know that I generally am really safe, blah blah blah. But, there is always that what if. And it gets increasingly bigger when I realize that that “what if” has a higher probability to occur....

I mean really though, WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE IT!?

Sorry to be whinny.....

On the brighter side, I am really excited and I love the amazing opportunity that I have been given in being given this internship.

I also know how exciting the stuff I’ll be working on will be. I mean, I’m the intern where i WANT to be in! (For confidentiality’s sake, I’m not saying where and I won’t be saying anything I’m working on unless it has already launched and I’m promoting it here for my friends and family).

*SIGH*

I think ultimately though, I just need to take a giant breath and relax. I mean, it’s somehow managed to work out thus far. I just need my luck to go a little further and carry me into August.

Here’s hoping!

Travel the Way of the 1800, By TRAIN!

Now anyone who know me knows that I LOVE public transportation. In fact that is one of the major contributing factors to why I do not have a license/car. I have always envisioned myself living in a city where I can rely upon public transportation so why bother?

Well, in the past this meant I have been reliant upon the metro and buses. But no more! I have discovered the beauty of Amtrack!

So, in moving to DC for the summer (College Park, MD actually but its right outside so hush!) I needed to find a way to get there. My mind obviously went to planes as that has been my major form of transportation for long distance travel in the past and I knew the route to DC well as I have flown it many times in the past both as a final destination and as a transfer point.

As such, I know the airports VERY well and have preferences and means of transportation out of them all once I get there (Well except Dulles because it’s SO far away! ).

Nonetheless, I realized that having to be financially responsible for the summer as I have a room to pay for I could not afford the steep price of a ticket to DC from Greeneville or from Charlotte, the two airports servicing my area. So I was in a dilemma....

Then I remembered an off-hand comment from my friend Emily. She told me (in a child-live fervor) “You can take the train!”. And so I had my other option, the train. And after looking at the prices, I found them reasonable enough (I mean, I am a poor college student afterall!).

So, I decided to “take the train!” Which thus far (Its been an hour and a half) has been a good idea. While it is a relatively long time (10.5 hours) I also find it really relaxing. It feels like I’m riding a plane with light turbulence very slowly along the ground.

Yea, I guess that’s the best way to describe it. But really, it’s quite fun. There is just some strange nostalgic feeling riding a passenger train along to the nation’s capital.

I cannot feel a strange connection to the Foreign diplomats who arrived in NYC only to be ushered to San Francisco by train through our nation (in a wonderful display of the power aspect of hegemony) to sign the United Nations into law.

It’s so nice to just know I am completely fine riding along on this train through our nation. And oddly, I feel a tinge of nationalism stirring inside of me knowing that I am doing something that is so steeped in American history and tradition while at the same time traveling through the country...all to the nation’s capital! So yea, I guess I have a reason for this nationalistic feeling.....


And more than that, it makes me feel like Chojiro/Sen from Spirited Away...most def one of my top five movies of all time. : D

Almost there-ish

I'm almost halfway through my exam week (I count tomorrow afternoon as halfway through as by then I'll be done with all my tests).

Totally looking forward to Friday...but I also have to be mostly moved out by then so definitely not looking forward to having to pack, etc and then live out of a suitcase for a weekend before I have to do so for all summer.....

Also, I'm totally digging this song right now as a study tool/relaxation song. Enjoy.

Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition (Directors Cut HD) from Daniel Eskils on Vimeo.

Stuck in My Head....

I love Sufjan so much. His music has been a fixture on my iTunes and iPod for years now and while studying this song has seen a lot of play...I'm not too sure why, I just love how raw it is, especially when viewed in contrast to some of his other music on the Illinoise Album (not misspelled btw).

Where I'm living for the summer!

Now if only I could find a way to pay.....

Sorry

about the no posts lately. I've been really good about blogging lately but I have been overrun with my workload lately. I'm just fighting to keep my head above water right now.

Hopefully things will calm down soon. And I think they will...or maybe that's just my optimism shining through.

Alas.

...

This book is my life and then some today.

And I fear its about to bleed into the rest of my week. And into next week. Oh joy.

And to you optimists out there: no, I do not think that people in Australia have bad days/weeks/months. Not like the one I am having/burgeoning on.

Quote...from one of my textbooks

Today the very word manliness seems quaint and obsolete. We are in the process of making the English language gender-neutral, and manliness, the quality of one gender, or rather, of one sex, seems to describe the essence of the enemy we are attacking, the evil we are eradicating.—Harvey Mansfield, Manliness

Yup

I've been defining my life in the moods of the music I've been listening to as of late. I don't know how I feel about this.

Nonetheless, I find it interesting.

And I don't think two of my dreams are going to happen and I think I'm oddly ok with that.

My Anthem for the Day

Oren Lavie - Her morning elegance from Mimì on Vimeo.

I want to be able to make a beautiful movie like this someday.